I've always liked the idea of a vision quest, the Native America tradition of a young person going on a personalized adventure to discover their identity, their real self, receive guidance and purpose. This is a time of transition, discovery, exploration.
I recently read a post about the concept of a faith quest, which I think is a Christianized reflection of this type of transition. A faith quest is a proactive personal decision to determine what a person really believes, who they are in terms of the big picture and what their self-determined purpose will be. This type of self analysis takes dramatic courage, because it is so much easier to allow ourselves to live in the assumptions and status-quo of our circumstances. "To doubt what we think we know in order to explore and correct ourselves"
The issue that often arises when an individual embarks on a faith quest is the extreme and overblown reaction by family, friends and fellow church members. In extreme patriarchy (where the male figure is responsible for the family's or congregation's spiritual well-being), this reaction, in the guise of "concern", morphs into judgmental, often passive-aggressive emotional abuse. "Even a prayer or a blessing can be designed as
a hurtful rebuke."
Why is a faith quest threatening to people? Especially the person undergoing the quest. Christianity and Mormonism in general have created such a negative and shaming narrative about doubt and faith exploration that an individual who is experiencing this type of quest is not only experiencing that process, but also the guilt and shame for being on this quest. The ideal fulfillment of this quest is a deeper understanding of self and place in a religion, a culture and broad society in general. "It can bring us into deeper trust and
relationship to deity and each other". Doubt, or misunderstanding, the feeling that something isn't right.... isn't that a spiritual prompting? Why do we socially and emotionally penalize those who are attempting a faith quest?
We’re all on some sort of faith quest. "Rather than
mark the path by transition or crisis, why not see the whole thing as a
quest in making our way back to God?" I firmly believe that we all have different routes and paths in this quest. We all have different challenges and circumstances and no one has the right to judge another's path. We need to be allowed to change, to explore and transition without social sanctions and judgement.
Another reason why the idea of a faith quest resonates with me is that a faith quest also has an epic, exploratory kind of ring to it. Like Bilbo leaving the shire... Like Link leaving the Great Deku Tree... Like Merlin leaving the reef.... Like Captain Kirk beaming down to an unknown planet.... Like every episode of Doctor Who.... Every good story has this type of plot twist. Why should our reality be any different?
So, as with any vision quest, I don't know how my personal faith quest will conclude. As I try to be more self-aware, more patient and open to ideas, I have hope that I will discover my path, which I suspect will not be the same as any other.
