Bella vs.Buffy

We all live in a culture, a culture which defines and labels members. Our individual cultures emphasize and promote certain activities, standards of beauty, dress styles, tell us what to aspire to become. We are also involved in various subcultures, religion, social groups, a local identity, a nationality. One cross-culturally consistent defining feature of humanity is our reliance on patriarchy to define women's roles and aspiration.

For example in industrialized England, women were divided into to moral classes. (1) The virginal angel, hoisted onto a pedestal of untouchable perfection or (2) the whore, discarded and thrust down into the ditch. There were no other options for women. 
When I taught Anthropology classes in university there was one lecture in which we would talk about zombies and vampires as cultural references. I always brought up classic novel Dracula, a novel full of commentary about women and their place in society. (All you Twilight Fans- Go read it!!!) In this embodiment, vampires symbolized foreign infection, a real concern of this burgeoning industrial age.

Much of the vampire myth in our western industrialized culture can be traced back to this first dramatization of Dracula, the father of all vampires.

Bella, the victim

I hate to even mention this deplorable assault on womanhood here, but in the "Twilight" series, the heroine is a girl named Bella. Bella is a teenage girl who dramatically becomes emotionally attached to a vampire whose name is Edward. Bella spends the entire series passively letting the people around her make decisions, letting others save her. Her entire defining characteristic is her complete and utter devotion to Edward (who stalks her, filled with potential violence).

Interestingly, these books were written by a member of my church. I think that it is very revealing that this is the type of relationship that a woman in my church would idealize.

Buffy, the hero

An alternative to the concept of women as a victim, is the empowered female hero, for example in the television drama "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". Buffy is a girl who initially fits all of the stereotypical traits of an idealized high school girl. But when she is given the responsibility to protecting humankind from evil, she rises to the challenge becoming physically and emotionally strong, selfless, and powerful. She too falls in love with a vampire, but when humanity is threatened she puts aside her feelings and does her duty. 

Buffy was created and written by Joss Wedon, one of my favorite people I've never met. Mr. Wedon has continually pushed boundaries by creating female characters who are multifaceted and powerful. His characters are of course not completely realistic, but in comparison to most portrayals of women he is light years ahead of the staus quo.

So if, Industrial England was worried about foreigners and changes in woman's place in society, as evidenced by the novel Dracula, what do the stories of Bella and Buffy say about twenty-first century America? 

Race Relations

Racism... now there's a complicated and sensitive subject. I've been thinking a lot about racism in the past few months. I recently moved from a more suburban, heavily white inhabited area to a lower-income, heavily not-white inhabited area. And this has affected my comfort level. 

Looking back, I (as a middle-class white girl) have been raised to fear and avoid: #1- people who look rough, who are obviously not of my social class, #2- people who have a different skin color than I, and #3- strange men. So the scruffy looking men of African descent in my new neighborhood have hit all three of these criteria. I've found myself automatically, without conscious thought, walking faster, not making eye contact and simply reacting to people who I don't know. People who have never given me any reason to mistrust them, simply on the basis of my past indoctrination. And I hate this part of me. I hate that I've been made to react this way to people around me.

Now there are multiple sources for this education. When I was a college student, I spent a summer in Israel, Egypt and Jordan and one of the most upsetting and scaring experiences I had involved the pre-trip orientation. The white men who were leading this trip spent hours telling us horror stories about pretty little white girls who had been accosted and had been taken advantage of. Their goal was to scare us into dressing and acting in ways that would not attract attention. After the orientation, I went home scared to death, not wanting to go on the trip. The big scary world had become very real.

I did go on the trip, and there were definitely situations were I did not feel safe because of first, my gender and second, my skin color. But did I feel unsafe because of actual circumstances or because I was programmed and preconditioned to feel that way? Either way, actual misogyny or socialized misinformation, I got the short end of the stick. 
Despite all of this, it was a great trip and I was physically safe.

But even more involved and central to my understanding of human interaction has been the influence of my family. My mother has told me stories about how her grandmother was outrageously racist. My father is an interesting story in race relations. He grew up in California and went to high school in Hawaii, where he was one of the few white kids in a school predominately Polynesian. Apparently he experienced racism as a white minority in that situation. To this day, he is extremely sensitive to race relations, often taking offense when other groups accuse Caucasians of acting racist. He deeply believes that he, the middle class white man, is the victim in current United States culture and government.  

Recently there was a cheerios commercial which caused a huge uproar because it portrayed a little girl with a white mother and a black father. I was amazed by the intense reactions of people to this commercial. 



Within my feminist community, there has recently been a discussion about race within feminism. The idea that feminism focuses too much on the white female as opposed to other racial groups that experience misogyny in addition to racism, a double dose of prejudice and discrimination. I very much agree that non-white females deal with misogyny in different and often more challenging ways. In the same way, economic status affects a woman's ability to be successful in patriarchal society. So the reality is that the factors of gender, race, economic status are so intertwined and dependent on each other, making the conversation about any one of these inequality factors very complicated.

I feel like at this point I should say something very deep and resolute, shouting my solution to these world problems from the rooftop. But from a practical standpoint, I still haven't even gotten up the courage to talk to my neighbors at this point. Which is so stupid! I want to be that brave cosmopolitan, adventurous, uninhibited person. I don't want my socialized background to define me. I want to push boundaries. So how does a person overcome who society has made them? 

(Wow... I went pretty existentialist there. Kind of Matrix, Brave New World and Farenheit 451 ish :)

The Twelfth Doctor

Last week with much pomp and drama, the BBC revealed the twelfth doctor in the much beloved series Doctor Who. For those of you Non-Whovians, a quick explanation. The Doctor is an alien Time Lord from the planet Galifrey who regenerates occasionally into a new body and a new personality. His method of transport is the TARDIS, he often has a companion and is always finding trouble: situations and people who need his help, or at least his meddling and interference.
The 50th Anniversary of this show is happening in November. This is a show with multi-generational viewers, tribute bands, a Doctor Who Experience in Cardiff, spin-off shows and so much more.

So back to 12. Leading up to the announcement last week there was much speculation on who the new doctor would be. There were many of us who campaigned for a completely different kind of Doctor. The Doctor has always been a white man, ranging in age from 26-70. I personally very much wanted a female doctor. It has been established that time lords can change gender. They can certainly change race, skin color. So why is the Doctor always a white man? A female doctor, in the grand tradition of Joss Wedon's powerful female hero would give the show so many new avenues of plot and drama.
Or if that was too much scary feminist rhetoric (which I don't think it is), how about a Doctor of a different race? He is an alien for goodness sake! There are so many possibilities, why are the producers limiting themselves?

So, after much ado, the Twelfth Doctor has been revealed as Peter Capaldi, an older white man. He's not even ginger, as the Tenth and Eleventh Doctor wished to be. I really don't have a problem with Mr. Capaldi. I'm sure he will do a great job embodying the Doctor and everything he stands for. I've accepted the choice. But I can't help but wonder and wish that this amazing show, that embodies so much of my personal ideology, i.e. tolerance, acceptance, the realities of pain, consequences of our decisions, the possibility of adventure; a show that has broken so many boundaries, both social, technological, culturally. I just wish that this opportunity to be so relevant and progressive had been taken and run with. 

Because, as we know, with the Doctor, there's an awful lot of running to do!


This just in: I'm not the only one who feels this way! See this!

Faith Quest

I've always liked the idea of a vision quest, the Native America tradition of a young person going on a personalized adventure to discover their identity, their real self, receive guidance and purpose. This is a time of transition, discovery, exploration. 

I recently read a post about the concept of a faith quest, which I think is a Christianized reflection of this type of transition. A faith quest is a proactive personal decision to determine what a person really believes, who they are in terms of the big picture and what their self-determined purpose will be. This type of self analysis takes dramatic courage, because it is so much easier to allow ourselves to live in the assumptions and status-quo of our circumstances. "To doubt what we think we know in order to explore and correct ourselves"

The issue that often arises when an individual embarks on a faith quest is the extreme and overblown reaction by family, friends and fellow church members. In extreme patriarchy (where the male figure is responsible for the family's or congregation's spiritual well-being), this reaction, in the guise of "concern", morphs into judgmental, often passive-aggressive emotional abuse. "Even a prayer or a blessing can be designed as a hurtful rebuke." 

Why is a faith quest threatening to people? Especially the person undergoing the quest. Christianity and Mormonism in general have created such a negative and shaming narrative about doubt and faith exploration that an individual who is experiencing this type of quest is not only experiencing that process, but also the guilt and shame for being on this quest. The ideal fulfillment of this quest is a deeper understanding of self and place in a religion, a culture and broad society in general. "It can bring us into deeper trust and relationship to deity and each other". Doubt, or misunderstanding, the feeling that something isn't right.... isn't that a spiritual prompting? Why do we socially and emotionally penalize those who are attempting a faith quest?

We’re all on some sort of faith quest.  "Rather than mark the path by transition or crisis, why not see the whole thing as a quest in making our way back to God?" I firmly believe that we all have different routes and paths in this quest. We all have different challenges and circumstances and no one has the right to judge another's path. We need to be allowed to change, to explore and transition without social sanctions and judgement.

Another reason why the idea of a faith quest resonates with me is that a faith quest also has an epic, exploratory kind of ring to it. Like Bilbo leaving the shire... Like Link leaving the Great Deku Tree... Like Merlin leaving the reef.... Like Captain Kirk beaming down to an unknown planet.... Like every episode of Doctor Who.... Every good story has this type of plot twist. Why should our reality be any different?

So, as with any vision quest, I don't know how my personal faith quest will conclude. As I try to be more self-aware, more patient and open to ideas, I have hope that I will discover my path, which I suspect will not be the same as any other.
 

Ukulele Songs, Grad School and Dinosaurs-with-Tiny-Arms

I know I tend to rant and climb on a soap box, but I don't mean to always be negative. After reading through my last few posts, I decided I needed to share something more fluffy.... something light-hearted and fun. Then today I saw this:

Ukuleles are such happy, social instruments! I love it! I've been playing myself for a few years (The hipster in me must point out that I was into the ukulele way before everyone else rediscovered them!!!), but gotten more serious recently.

This is the ukulele I've been playing. His name is Cecil.
We are really getting along well!

I'm also getting ready to start grad school next month..... Yippee! 

Going to be studying library science, with an emphasis on archives.

Support your local library!

And finally, this gave me a nice chuckle this week:

Have a happy, marshmallow-filled, butterfly-attacking, chocolate-covered week!

Other Interesting Things I've read this week:

The Things We Are Prepared to Walk Away From
Why I Wouldn't Attend Pastor Steepek's Church
Feminism and the New Domesticity

Chivalry vs. Misogyny

A few days ago at work, a coworker and I were discussing a task, a task involving some physical effort. He made the comment, 'You shouldn't do it by yourself, you know... Because of chivalry.' I immediately responded, 'You mean misogyny!'
Does chivalry even exist? Or is it an invention by the male-centric structure of human culture to make subjugation more palatable? Let a man open a door for you, it's chivalry! Let a man pay for your meal/movie/entertainment, it's chivalry! This process teaches women, and especially young girls to not be independent, to rely on men, that they are unable to provide for themselves. It allows thought processes where a woman's place is at home, protected and reliant upon their man.
Can you imagine if the common dating methods were gender swapped? Most men I know would cringe at the thought of a woman paying!
When I've tried to discuss this idea with other women, I inevitably get some response to the effect, we could take care of ourselves but its important to make men feel needed and important. This is completely belittling any action taken by men, to the passive aggressive control of women. This is not a function of a healthy relationship!
I think that men and women should individually act in the best interest of each other, dividing tasks and repositioning according to ability and experience, not gender. There is nothing as frustrating to me, as not being allowed to do something simply because I was born with a certain genetic code.
Just to clarify, I'm not blaming men for acting 'chivalrous'. They are acting in noble, polite and according to how society teaches them to act. They are just as much victims in this gender-imposed mess as women. And they deal with and are negatively affected by misogyny as much as women.

The Modern Children of Israel

Disclaimer... The opinions expressed here are my own and not those of my employer, my church, my university, my family or my friends. These opinions will change from time to time... Here is today's rant.

I've been reading the Book of Matthew in the New Testament lately. I'm trying to get a new perspective on Christ and his gospel. Today, in Matthew 12, the thing that really stood out to me was how anti-establishmentary Christ was. This whole chapter is him breaking traditions and rules, upsetting people. He is consistently outwitting and dressing down members of the traditional religious community.

The Mormon Church is much like the Children of Israel in the Old Testament. They take great pride at being different. At living in the world but not of the world. In the days of David and Solomon, one of their greatest sins was polluting the purity of the community by marrying foreign wives. There was no proselyting, no invitation to join the "saints", but rather war and death over property rights. These people could not live together in peace because they were so intolerant. This also perfectly describes the Pharisees and traditional religious leaders, with whom Christ constantly is butting heads. Elder Oaks has discussed the importance of not tolerating anything but pure Mormon Christianity (here).

As a young woman, I took great pride in my long shorts, my dateless status and my refusal to participate in school dances or activities. I had more righteous, important things to do with my time, was my thought process. I went to seminary (a church class) at 6 AM every day, went to church services 3 hours on Sunday, church activities on Wednesday nights, dances occasionally. But, I'm not so sure that we are any different from the rest of world, especially the conservative Christian world. There are many other Christian groups that are just as self-righteous and sure that they, and only they, have the truth.

Any organization/establishment has to deal with the dilemma of "melting pot" vs. "mixed salad" in terms of culture, structure, organization, etc. America used to be seen as a melting pot, a place where people of all cultures could come together and discard their cultural identities to become America. The concept of a mixed salad is that people can and should retain their identities while interacting with and supporting the structure.

Just like any country or cultural group, religion has to deal with "melting" vs "mixing". Do we attempt to assimilate newcomers? Or do we respect their traditions and encourage them to maintain their identity? This is where my problems with missionary work come out. What right does any church have to come into someone's life and tell them that they are living incorrectly? Now, there are extremes, with drug abuse, alcoholism and other fundamentally detrimental behavior choices. But I think it takes a substantial amount of self-righteous moral superiority to tell Hawaiian women they are dressed immodestly, or African men that they need to wear white shirts and ties to church, or that quasi-traditional Protestant hymns are the only appropriate music for church, played on an organ. God is not only in those types of churches. I believe that many people feel the presence of God in different ways than three hours of church, listening to white-shirted men instill guilt in them.

Back to Matthew, why did there need to be an apostasy? We Mormons are taught that the gospel was taken from the earth after Christ's death because of the wickedness of the people. But if Christ established his perfect church, it should have stood the test of time. There are always wicked people on earth, but there are also always good innocent people. I propose that Christ didn't so much found a formal church, as debunk intolerance and religious superiority. He fought against the religious establishment. And the Mormon church has done the direct opposite, by building up a massive structure, a "pure" and "righteous" culture that people are expected to assimilate into to be a part of the "one true church". I remember the first time I saw pictures of the new conference center. I'll be honest, my first thought was of the great and spacious building discussed in the Book of Mormon, the embodiment of pride and sin.

The Church (yes, with a capitol "C") has grown so big and unwieldy that I feel it has lost touch with it's members. The combination of growth outside the US, political missteps and it's seeming refusal to allow women more substantial roles has made it a massive bureaucratic machine rolling on, intent on "melting" any violations from what it perceives as the norm. In other words, assimilation is your only righteous option. And after growing up in the church, it definitely is easier to just go with the flow, to accept the demands of the Church. I've taken real courage from my fellow bloggers, Young Mormon Feminists and Feminist Mormon Housewives. I am still trying to understand my relationship with religion, still trying on various ideologies and schools of thought. I don't have the answers yet, but I feel like I'm beginning to ask the questions.